My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.
But I will wait until tomorrow to start.
What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Why did the sheriff lock up his valentine?
What do you call a volleyball with a bad attitude?
Which cats love to be petted?
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
Where do ghosts prefer to swim?
What pop singer also makes a great weapon?
What is an insect's favorite beverage?
What do pigs always order at Arby's®?
What food is never allowed on the Titanic?
Why does chewing gum never go bad?
Two silkworms got in a fight.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Where do airplanes go shopping?
What is the best holiday breakfast food?
What restaurant is on time for every meeting?
What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
What do birds say to show affection to their spouses?
Why couldn't the firefighter save the burning funhouse?
Why is shrubbery so bad at being direct with people?