My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.
But I will wait until tomorrow to start.
What do you call it when a cow and a chicken are angry at each other?
What do you call a pig that's out in the sun for too long?
What did Sherlock Holmes deduce when he woke up during his camping trip and saw the stars?
Where do fruit travel to on vacation?
When did they play tennis in the Bible?
What is a ghost's favorite bedtime story?
What's a cat's favorite board game?
Why are bakers so good at math?
Where does the president keep his razor?
What's a doctor's favorite Olympic® sport?
Daughter: "What's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?"
Why can't Christmas trees sew?
What animals love to close envelopes?
What is a horse's favorite hairdo?
Where do they produce Christian films?
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Why do brass bands always bring a cornucopia to Thanksgiving?
What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
What did the sailor want from his son for Father's Day?
What's an eagle's favorite Lynyrd Skynyrd song?